Sadia Khan talks to Chris about the critical factors related to relationships, marriage and divorce. She talks about the single factor that can predict divorce with 80% and what has helped accelerate the divorce rate over the past 50 years.
Sadia is a relationship coach who has dedicated her social presence to helping individuals and couples navigate the complexities of modern relationships. Her passion for helping people build fulfilling and lasting connections has guided her on this meaningful journey. She holds a BSc in Psychology, a Master’s in Education and Developmental Psychology, Qualified Teachers Status, and Diplomas in Psychotherapy, Advanced CBT, Psychoanalysis, and Inner Child Healing. Her academic training and extensive practical experience allow her to offer well-rounded and evidence-based guidance.
“The longest-standing Research into marriage and relationships was by the Gottman institution. They did the most scientific and objective analysis of relationships. They studied 10,000 couples in a lab over a couple of days, and they were able to predict with 80% accuracy which couples would stay together and which ones would get divorced within a year.”
According to Sadia, marriages that last are those in which the couple is able to sense and respond to each other’s pleas for connection.
“What I mean by this is when we have a partnership where one person comes home and expresses an emotion, and the other one picks up on it, that partnership has the base levels to last a really long time.”
On the other hand, if married couples turn their backs on each other’s need for an emotional connection, they are setting the ground for divorce in the future.
“If you come home and you’re like, I’m so tired, and your partner either says nothing, that turning away from each other’s emotional needs is the training ground for divorce.”
Sadia also points out that the rising divorce numbers can be attributed to the fact that people have become impatient in investing in the emotional needs of others.
“We’re becoming so hedonistic that our emotional needs come first, and we’re being taught this in society, which always talks about putting you first, self-esteem, self-assurance, and self-actualization. The word self is kind of programmed in our psyche, and the collectivism that we used to have as a society is gone.”
To some degree, humans are being programmed to be selfish, which puts a strain on romantic relationships since everyone is on a selfish pursuit and self-preservation.
If you are a man interested in learning more about navigating divorce and relationships, mensgroup has all the resources and support you need.
