What is male loneliness? Why don’t I have friends? Why is it hard to make friends as an adult? Why is it hard for men to make friends who are not my family members? Why can’t I keep friends? Why do I have a hard time making friends? Why can’t I make friends? I feel like no one likes me. These are just some of the questions most men struggle with. If any of these statements sound familiar or you are interested in learning more about male loneliness, this article has the answers you seek.
Hi. My name is Sean Galla, a facilitator for men’s groups and support groups. In my line of work, I create a platform where lonely men can meet other men in a safe environment that makes it easy to develop platonic friendships. I have seen firsthand how important it is for every man to have friends.
In this article, you will learn everything there is to know about male loneliness, making friends, and why it is beneficial for a man to be part of a social circle made up of like-minded men.
Table of Contents:
What is male loneliness?
It has been described by experts as the silent epidemic as the number of lonely men rises in the US. According to statistics, one in every three men experiences loneliness. With this rise also comes an increased case of male suicides and mental health issues, leaving experts wondering whether these two aspects are linked.
Loneliness is a state of discomfort or distress that occurs due to a gap between a man’s desire for a social connection or bromance and experiencing this connection. Loneliness is a state of mind. Therefore, one does not have to be physically alone or without friends to feel lonely.
Male loneliness is the feeling of being alone and the need to isolate yourself from the world. Men with friends can also experience male loneliness.
Lonely males crave friendships that go deeper than general male bunter over sports or work. However, most men do not know how to approach fellow men to foster these friendships. Male loneliness is a leading cause of men’s health issues, including heart disease and obesity in older men and men in different age groups. Loneliness can cause depression, anxiety, and lethargy.
Why are most men lonely?
Many reasons can cause male loneliness, especially amongst adults. To be able to understand why you are lonely, you first need to identify common patterns that may be hindering you from making a social connection, or at least meaningful ones.
Suffering from social anxiety is also a common cause of social isolation not having close friends. Shyness and autism syndromes like Asperger’s, bipolar disorder, depression, and physical disabilities are also leading causes of loneliness. Some people suffer from untreated mental trauma or have suffered betrayal from old friends, making it hard for them to trust people.
Men do not like showing weakness
Society expects men to be stoic and strong, often associated with bottling up emotions and not expressing their feelings. This is why masculinity is related to toxic masculinity behaviors like dominance and misogyny. Because of this upbringing, most men do not believe in having close friendships, which leaves them feeling lonely.
Men avoid addressing their feelings
Common phrases like ‘man up’ communicate the idea that a man’s masculinity can be lost if they start being vocal about their feelings. Most men suffer from chronic loneliness because they fear admitting their true feelings, even when things are going wrong.
Hypermasculine assertiveness
For many generations, men have been made to believe that they have to be the strongest, toughest, alpha males to be desirable and worthy of love. Because of this idea of alpha masculinity, men do not know how to open up to people, even about physical health issues, in case they come off as weak.
This hypermasculine assertiveness has made many men lead a lonely life since they find it hard to disclose their vulnerability, make and keep male friends or respond to vulnerability shown by their loved ones.
Lack of bonding opportunities
For centuries, men have lacked safe spaces where they can be experience social contact, bond with fellow men, and foster meaningful friendships. This lack of bonding opportunities forces men to lead a lonely life since they lack the avenue to approach fellow men. It is only recently that support groups for men like MensGroup have become acceptable and more available. Through these men’s groups, men bond, meet fellow men and talk about different issues affecting their day-to-day lives, family, work, and social stuff in a safe space.
Signs of male loneliness
Sometimes, identifying whether you are experiencing male loneliness is not easy since people show different symptoms.
There are a lot of similarities between symptoms exhibited by someone suffering from depression and one suffering from loneliness. Also, sometimes loneliness can lead to depression. Some of the symptoms that can tell if you are experiencing male loneliness include:
- Inability to connect with fellow men or others on a deeper level
- Not having close friends or best friends
- An Overwhelming feeling of isolation even when around other people
- Feelings of self-doubt and low self-worth/self-esteem
- Not being heard or turned away when you speak up
- Exhaustion and burnout when you try to engage with others socially
Overcoming male loneliness
The number one reason men become lonely is because they do not know how to make friends and are thus unable to enjoy in-depth friendships. The worst thing you can do is decide to go out and make close friends without learning how to do so effectively.
Make friends with people you share things in common
Finding common interests with your new friends is one of the most challenging parts of building friendships. To make it easy, you can ask questions about their hobbies, interests, and life during a meetup. If you are not sure about what you like, you can pursue hobbies that put you in the way of meeting new people. Some people have met their best friends by taking a chance.
Most men are interested in hobbies that include bike polo, video gaming, sports, rock climbing, hiking, religious events, and volunteering.
Open yourself up to vulnerability
One of the best ways to develop a strong bond with your new friends is to allow yourself to be vulnerable.
Allowing yourself to be vulnerable makes it easier for your friends to open up to you, too, and makes it easier to start conversations about male emotions, mental health, and self-development.
Choose the right social network
Even as you strive to make best friends, it is important to make meaningful male friendships. A good friend is someone who helps you to grow and learn and vice versa. Your ideal friend should add value to your life as you add value to theirs.
While a good sense of humor is good, your new friends should accept you for you and help you build your self-esteem to become the man you wish to be. Best friends hold each other accountable by caring about one another’s self-development.
It is also important to take your time to know whom you can or cannot trust. It is important to ensure you only allow genuine and honest men into your friend zone or social circle. This will ensure you can be vulnerable and honest without fear of judgment or ridicule from your friends.
Enjoy the bromance journey
While this may seem straightforward, a good number of men do not know how to relax and have fun. To build ideal male friendships, you need to be able to have fun with them and enjoy the friendship journey. See a movie, show off your sense of humor, go out for a drink or sit and relax together, do whatever it takes to have fun with your friends.
Join a men’s group
Sometimes, the easiest way for a man with no friends to make close male friendships as a man is by joining a men’s friends group on social media or online. Joining a friends group like mensgroup.com ensures you build friendships that meet your needs from the start.
Men’s forums are where you meet like-minded men who share your interests, ideas, and plans.
About Mensgroup
https://stagingwpx.mensgroup.com/
Men’s Group is a self-improvement community for guys. We create and facilitate conversations between guys who are interested in personal growth. We create discussions and friendships through our thriving forums, drop-in groups, and online men’s groups that help guys grow and give them the social time they want.
Men’s Group is an online-based support group and forum that focuses on men and the needs of men. It offers a platform where men from different parts of the world come together to discuss everyday issues affecting men.
Even though this is the 21st century, society still expects men to head the home and be the pillar of strength in families. All this is most times at the expense of making friends and having a social life. If you are a lonely man who feels like you can use the support of a good group of friends, Mensgroup has all the answers you seek.
As an online group, the meetup takes place online through video calls or chat. This allows every male to make good friends, even when they run a busy schedule. Especially in this pandemic. It is open to all men from any part of the world, including New York.
Conclusion
If you want to overcome male loneliness, you need to be willing to put in the work to cultivate new friendships and make them what you want them to be. Join a men’s group to increase your chances of making new male friends and overcome loneliness. Mensgroup is one of the best places to come face-to-face with men whom you share common interests, goals, and ideas.
*Sources: 1. The Uncomfortable Truth about Male Loneliness 2. Study explores loneliness among men in the COVID-19 pandemic 3. Single men are suffering most from loneliness right now 4. The Pandemic of Male Loneliness 5. Signs and Symptoms of Chronic Loneliness 6. Why Am I Lonely? Possible Answers And Solutions 7. Male loneliness: the ticking time bomb that's killing men
