Do you want to learn how to make friends as an adult? Are you an adult who finds it hard to make friends or build a social network? Are you a male and looking to make new friends? Do you need new friends who are not your co-workers? Do you need a support system? If you answered yes to any of these questions, this article would be of great help.
Hi. My name is Sean Galla, a facilitator for friends groups like men support groups, men’s forums, and men’s groups. In my line of work, I oversee a platform where men can meet other men and foster lasting friendships in a safe environment that allows them to nurture platonic friendships.
I have seen firsthand how important it is for every adult male to have friends. If you are interested in understanding new friendships and learning how to make friends as adults, this article is for you.
In this article, you will learn everything you need to know about making friends as an adult and why it is important.
Table of Contents:
What Does It Mean To Have Friends?
While it may seem rather obvious, most people, especially men, still do not understand what it means to have friends. When it comes to platonic relationships, most men have a hard time understanding the actual meaning of having a close-knit social circle.
Simply put, friends are either male or female companions with whom you are close friends and share similar interests without any romantic association. If you have one or a few people in your social circle, they can be termed your friends.
Bffs share a sense of camaraderie in little things. They often spend time with one another in a sports team or book club-like group setup where they share, learn, and explore together. They have a deep level of connection that is different from that found in romantic relationships.
In most cases, friends have an unspoken or spoken commitment to one another, including being there for each other emotionally and supporting one another’s mental health. Close friendships accommodate and encourage vulnerability around one other.
Why Is Making Friends as an Adult So Difficult?
As an adult, the thought of meeting potential friends may sound awkward and sometimes impossible. At the same time, having meaningful relationships outside of your work, comfort zone, romantic relationship, or family often leads to positive outcomes.
A clinical psychologist recommends connecting with friends on social media or in-person for small talk or spending time with people you have interests in common.
Humans, especially men, often forget that they need to feel connected to others as humans’ evolutionary need for survival. When you have a great friend who wants to see you succeed, you can lead a more successful life.
Human beings are social creatures by nature, from the time they are young to old age. Even the most introverted people thrive when they have healthy relationships to share and offer support. As one transitions from adolescence to adulthood, making and keeping friends becomes a challenge.
Some of the factors that make it hard to make new friends as an adult include:
Absence of Structured Environments
For most people, high school and college presented the best places to make friends and keep them. This is because, as a student, you spend a lot of time in a day with the same people, five days a week. This creates a perfect structured environment to choose your circle of friends and vice versa.
As an adult, the absence of such a structured environment that allows you to meet people and make friends makes it harder for you to make friends. While it is possible to form friendships at work or socially, it does not come as naturally as it did when you were younger.
Family Needs
Part of being an adult is taking on more family responsibilities. You need to make money, maintain a job, nurture a relationship with your spouse, and care for your kids. As an adult, you are also burdened with the need to ensure your parents are cared for. These responsibilities barely leave you with time for yourself, let alone to socialize or make friends.
Work Demands
The average adult spends at least 40 hours a week working and at least 50 hours sleep. With only 168 hours available in a week, free time is mostly spent with family, on personal projects, or in traffic if you live in a busy town. This busy schedule makes it harder for any adult to make new friends.
Benefits of Having Friends as an Adult
There are numerous benefits associated with having friends.
Boldly speaking, all humans are born to socialize and live in a community. Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, everyone can benefit from interpersonal connections where you fall back on when you need support.
In this growing digital age, research shows that it has become increasingly difficult to make meaningful friendships or even retains old ones.
For most men, it becomes harder to meet people or maintain long-term friendships with other men and even harder to maintain old friends.
Emotional isolation is one of the leading causes of lifestyle vices and diseases like smoking, diabetes, obesity, Alzheimer’s, heart disease, high blood pressure, tumors, and other neurodegenerative behaviors.
Having a group of people you can call good friends gives you continuous support whenever you need it. It also helps in fighting social anxiety by learning to be around people more often.
Friends act as accountability partners. Research shows that people are more likely to achieve a goal when they are held accountable. When you have a bestie, they follow up on your progress to achieve your goals because they want the best for you.
How to Make Friends as an Adult
Show willingness to open up
One of the reasons you probably lost your old friends is that you were unwilling to open yourself up. It is only possible to form a bond with other people if there is a connection, mostly shared ideas or experiences.
Going beyond small talk can be scary. However, once you allow yourself to be open about your deepest thoughts and feelings, you allow other men to do the same around you, which is what real friendships are built on.
Be open to platonic physical contact
Physical contact, including maintaining eye contact or suggestive body language, is one of the most difficult topics and things to do, especially amongst straight men.
Most men are subconsciously afraid of physical contact with other men because they have been conditioned to relate physical touch to romance or sexual connections.
While you do not have to walk around town hand in hand, being able to develop a platonic touch with your male friends strengthens your bond and makes you feel good and comfortable around your friends.
Be a good listener
True friendship is also about listening and encouraging your circle of friends even as you seek support for your issues. A genuine adult friendship should be built on mutual support and active listening while taking time to understand and offer a solution whenever you get together.
Share in fun activities
If you want to build a lasting bond between you and your new best friend or friends, you need to have a shared experience. Whether it is hiking, watching sports, playing video games, or just spending time in a circle talking and having a beer, you need to find things you have in common with your new friends.
Keep the friendship going
Most adults lose their closest friends because they do not actively participate in maintaining their friendship. For a friendship to last, you need to make an effort to meet face-to-face and connect with good friends as often as possible. Therefore, do not shy away from initiating meetups and activities that will bring you and your new friends together.
Recognize when your friends are making an effort and appreciate their willingness to keep the friendship going. Be open to talking about different issues, including the very personal ones. Sometimes all you need is a listening ear from a male friend to feel better.
Join friends groups
Sometimes, the easiest way to make friends as an adult is by joining a friends group on social media or online. Joining a men’s group for the first time ensures you build friendships that meet your needs from the start.
Friends groups ensure you meet like-minded men who share your interests, ideas, and plans.
Men’s Group
Men’s Group is an online-based adult male friends group and forum that focuses on men and the needs of men. It offers a platform where men from different parts of the world can come together to discuss everyday issues that affect men, and even learn how to make friends as an adult. Mensgroup offers a safe space for men to nurture and enjoy close friendships with fellow men as part of self-development.
Whether you need advice on your career or romantic relationship, support to reach a new goal, or making male friends, mensgroup.com is the first place to be.
Since it is an online-based male friends group, you can join a meeting from the comfort of your home or office. Mensgroup ensures regular meetings online to ensure men can get the support they need at any time, whether in New York or London, especially after the pandemic last year.
Conclusion
If you are interested in making true friends as an adult, learning how to make friends as an adult is the first step towards making lasting friendships. It is time to use your social skills to cultivate the friendship and make it what you and your new best friend want it to be.
Attending meetups in friends groups increase your chances of making new friends. Mensgroup is one of the best places to make male friends with whom you share common interests, goals, and ideas.
*Sources: 1. The Secret to Making Friends as an Adult 2. Why Is It Hard to Make Friends Over 30? 3. 12 Simple Ways to Make Friends as an Adult 4. How to make friends as an adult 5. How To Make Friends As An Adult, According To Experts
