How To Live With A Narcissist

How can I tell my wife is a narcissist? Where do I learn how to live with a narcissist? What are the signs of a narcissistic female? My wife is a narcissist; should I leave her? This article is for you if you want answers to such questions.

My name is Sean Galla, and I have been an online support group facilitator for over a decade. During this time, I have overseen numerous support groups, including facilitating narcissist support groups for male survivors of narcissism. Part of the work we do in our support group is to offer information to help members understand the disorder, including the different types of narcissism.

In this article, I will cover everything you need to know about how to live with a narcissist.

Traits of a Narcissistic Woman

A narcissist is someone with a narcissistic personality disorder. Those suffering from this mental health disorder have an obsessive need for admiration, a sense of entitlement, an extreme sense of self-importance, and a lack of empathy. The disorder affects both females and males, but female narcs have distinctive patterns and narcissistic behaviors. Here are some traits of a narcissistic woman:

Self-Absorbed

Both male and female narcissists are self-centered. A female narcissist spends a lot of time talking about her life. She never thinks to ask about the other person’s life. If the person she is conversing with interjects with information about themselves, the female narc shows no interest and she will quickly steer the subject to herself.

They never admit their mistakes

Narcissistic people avoid admitting their faults or apologizing. They tend to shift the blame onto others or blame circumstances. Women with narcissistic tendencies make excuses for their mistakes and change the narrative, blaming someone else for their shortcomings.

Pettiness

Narcissistic women tend to be petty and fixate on tiny details, or the imagined wrongdoings of others, no matter how insignificant. For example, they may obsess over minor or slightest criticism and focus on revenge. This inability to let go of minor grievances can cause problems for the narcissistic woman, making her appear envious, petty, and resentful to those around her.

Materialistic 

Narcissistic women often prioritize expensive, luxury items as status symbols of wealth. They also tend to be excessively concerned with their social status, reputation, appearance, and social media presence.

Social media addicts

Female narcissists show their self-absorption with a social media obsession, posting frequent selfies, and seeking likes and followers. Some with narcissistic traits may become addicted to social media, seeking validation from online strangers.

Learn how to take control away from a narcissist in this article.

Why Being in a Relationship with a Narcissist Woman is Difficult

Being in a narcissistic relationship means learning to live with entitlement, arrogance, selfishness, and lack of empathy. Here are some reasons why it is almost impossible to have a healthy relationship with a narc woman.

She is dramatic

A narcissistic woman loves drama and hates it when things are quiet and calm. She loves the attention and will keep chasing drama. When she wants own needs met, love-bombing is her favorite manipulation tactic, and when you disagree, she turns on her narcissistic rage characterized by violent name-calling and other abusive behavior.

She disrespects boundaries

A narcissistic woman will constantly disrespect and ignore any healthy boundaries you set. She will want to have her own space, but she will keep disregarding the clear boundaries you put in place.

She is competitive

A narc woman is competitive with everyone, even her children. She is envious when anyone, whether it’s her friends, family, or even children, seems more successful.

She is vain

The narc woman is obsessed with her appearance and pays a lot of attention to her appearance. She loves the admiration and validation she gets because of her physical appearance.

She is defensive

The narcissistic woman is always defensive, even if she doesn’t need to be. She will never try to see things from your perspective; according to her, she is never wrong.

She finds fault with your parenting skills

If you have children together, this narcissistic parent will always find fault with your parenting skills. When the child does something wrong, she will blame you for giving the child the wrong guidance.

She enjoys being narcissistic

She will admit that she only cares about herself and enjoys it. This makes it very difficult to deal with someone who enjoys emotional manipulation and hurting others.

How to Live with a Narcissist: Effective Coping Strategies

To be able to live with a narcissistic person, you need a few skills like learning how to talk to a narcissist to protect your mental health and self-esteem. Here are other ways to deal with a narc. 

Detach yourself

Detach and disengage. Never personalize a narc’s outbursts, which is not easy, especially if they are aimed at you. Tell the narc you are not willing to continue a conversation until they calm down.

Self-care

To calm down, try engaging in activities that you enjoy and that keep you connected to others. This can help you feel more confident and boost your self-worth.

Get a support system

For your mental well-being, get a support network of people who continually check on your wellness. Have a family member you can talk to who understands what you are going through. Seek out a mental health professional who understands narcissism and who will help you understand the mental illness and how to cope or look for a way out.

Leave

Research says that people with NPD do not change easily. If you are in an abusive relationship, you need to leave. Even if you do not experience physical violence, emotional abuse is also as bad as physical. If you experience these things and have lost your sense of self, take care of your emotional health and leave.

Setting Boundaries with a Narcissistic Partner

Romantic relationships with narcissists are draining, especially if you have no boundaries. Setting firm boundaries demands that your partner respect you and your choices.

Don’t allow them to talk to you however they please

Narcissistic people, especially a grandiose narcissist, use words to hurt and shame. You need to speak out if you do not like how they speak to you. Firmly demand the narc not to talk to you that way.

Demand they treat you with respect

Words are hurtful, but so are actions. Ensure they treat you with respect, and if they disrespect you. Tell them you will not take it; that is no way to treat a loved one.

Insist that your no is a no

In healthy relationships, respecting boundaries is crucial. If you say no, ensure they listen and understand that a no means a no. If they ignore your request, distance yourself from that relationship.

Find a Therapist 

Get professional help from a therapist who can guide you on handling narcissistic partners. The therapist will also help you set boundaries and ensure your partner follows them. In the therapy sessions, you care for your needs and learn how to heal.

Can You Live a Happy Life with a Narcissist?

Forming a sincere and affectionate bond with a self-centered person whose focus is themselves is challenging. Anyone in a relationship with a narc faces continuous psychological and emotional mistreatment, which is a form of domestic violence.

Narcs will pick a fight over petty issues, hurl verbal insults, and are controlling. They say and do hurtful things to their partner, and the narc will not honor their partner’s requests as long as they do not benefit them.

You cannot hold a rational conversation with a narcissist because they will fly into a rage at any criticism. People with NPD do not take responsibility for any actions that hurt their partner. They lie, rewrite history, and twist the narrative, claiming to be the victims.

People married to narcissistic partners are often unprepared to leave the situation. People stay for different reasons, such as religion, dependency, finances, and fear. Most non-narcs avoid confrontation, and they pray things will get better. The abused partner stays silent, and the narc keeps chipping at their self-esteem.

Join a Support Group

Men struggle to find someone they can talk to. Men’s Group is a men-only support forum that offers resources and meetings to anyone dealing with a narcissist. With the proper support, you can heal, grow, and learn how to live with a narcissist.

MensGroup is an all-men online platform where you can get the support you need. You will join a group of other survivors who have been through narcissistic abuse and who understand what you are going through. This platform gives you a safe space to share and learn from others who have been through similar experiences. With the support of the Group, you can overcome trauma and lead a healthy, successful, and happy life.

How to Live With A Narcissist – Conclusion

When your partner lives with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, it can be pretty depressing unless you understand the condition and how to set boundaries. Narcs use any weaknesses they see to subdue and control others. Set clear limits on how you want to be treated and if the relationship turns abusive, leave and join a support group like MensGroup to help you heal.