When working on healing your trauma, you quickly realize that you cannot heal it alone. Part of the healing journey involves finding a supportive community or friends who resonate with the kind of life you are trying to build. How or where can you find a healthy community of friends? Dr. Fletcher discusses practical strategies for finding supportive friends and building a surrogate family.
Dr. Tim Fletcher is the founder of Tim Fletcher Co., an organization that offers support and resources to individuals healing from addictions, trauma, and relational or spiritual struggles. The organization’s mission is to cultivate safe and nurturing environments that embrace the multifaceted nature of healing.
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“We live in a world where there’s lots of supports available for people today, but that doesn’t mean they’re super healthy.”
When you are new in your healing journey, you will come across many support options that claim to offer a safe space for you to open up and get support as you heal your trauma. Without the proper guidance, it is possible sometimes to end up in places that can make your trauma worse or your healing journey longer than it should be.
Therefore, it is very important for you to take the time to handpick the right support options and the right people along your journey. When looking to find the right friends or support community, there are certain factors you need to consider.
“What people are hoping for is that there’s some magical solution out there where they’re going to quickly and easily find a group of safe people they can join, and life will just be wonderful, and they somehow can bypass having to go through the slow, messy gradual process of getting to know people gradually filtering out the unhealthy from the healthy the safe from the unsafe.”
Patience is key. Friendship is not an instant process; it’s a journey. People don’t become instant friends the first time you meet them. There’s usually a process where they first become your acquaintance, then casual friends, then close friends, and eventually what you would consider a soul mate. Throughout these different stages, it’s important to continue filtering out people and determining whether they are truly beneficial for your healing journey.
When transitioning from one stage to the next, it’s crucial that the people you choose align with your values. You should feel comfortable and secure in their presence. Ultimately, the individuals you feel safe around, those you would want to form a circle of friends or community with, should be people who share your values, understand your journey, and offer unconditional support, just as you do for them.
If you are a man interested in learning more about healing trauma and finding the right support from fellow men, www.mensgroup.com offers a no-nonsense approach to healing trauma and offering support even as you make new, meaningful friendships.
